Monday, May 2, 2011

The farmer and the cunning fox

Once upon a time when animals could speak, there was a cunning fox who was killing chickens every week because he was a sly, sadistic fox. The helpless chickens called out to the farmer's little daughter, asking for help. So the farmer's daughter said to her daddy, "Daddy, can you save the poor chickens from the nasty fox, pwease pwetty pwease". So Mr Farmer went out with his flame thrower and razed the farm to the ground, killing most of the chickens but accidentally missing the cunning fox. So for the next seven years the farmer took his flamethrower across Europe, causing collateral damage to chickens between Devon and Madrid and always missing the sly fox, who was actually sent by the Devil himself to cause mayhem across Christendom.
On an unrelated point the farmer had a constant supply of eggs and fried chicken, which he sold in his inns which could be found across Christendom.

Seven years later, the farmer's daughter told her daddy that she remembered that the same day a witch gave her a strange looking toadstool to eat which was why the chickens were talking to her, so maybe there wasn't a sly fox after all. But unfortunately for the chickens the big bad wolf came onto the scene and started killing chickens by the hundreds. So the farmer sent his son to Eastern Europe with a second flamethrower. Then, coincidentally a year later, when there weren't enough chickens in Christendom to produce enough eggs to both sustain the chicken population and make omelettes, the farmer's brother managed to shoot the cunning fox dead with his trusty shotgun. But the threat of potential foxes was still there, so he had to continue on his noble mission against the wily coyote, I mean fox, um, wolf, for the sake of chickenkind.